Fortune 500 executive contemplates hiring more Marketers in 2015

photo credit: Paolo Margari via photopin cc

photo credit: Paolo Margari via photopin cc

Adam Macy a top executive at a national fortune 500 said that he simply couldn’t take it anymore. When I asked him what he was referring to he blurted out “marketing damn it”.

“The digital marketing segment has become too complicated. You have website marketing, social media marketing, SEO, PPC, integrated marketing, E-mail Marketing, and now you have something new called marketing automation!” he said all the while trying to catch his breath.

“And don’t even get me started on the hiring process. Do we hire straight out of college, do we hire mom’s who have logged ten thousand hours of social media time, or do we continue to hire professionals who have been trained in online marketing?”

It seems like professionals would be the right way to go I answered. Macy looked at me slightly confused.”They cost too much!” he blurted.

“I can get a new college hire at a janitors wage, and a mom at a migrants wage”.

Seems kind of illegal to me – thinking of people in those terms, I answered.

“You’re telling me! But the pressure from the board and our investors to cut costs is too great. We used to outsource this kind of stuff to India, but productivity slowed to a crawl due to the time zone difference. On most conference calls you could hear someone snoring – sometimes it was me. This whole mess is enough to make you want to jump out of a window.”

Luckily we were on the first floor, so there was no concern given to Macy injuring himself.

What about the people that currently work for you? Can they be trained and promoted to take on these rolls?

“I don’t see how that would be possible.” he mumbled.

“twelve years of divisive corporate backstabbing tactics implemented by upper management has left every employee confused and bitter.”

How so? I inquired of Mr. Macy.

“Well, it’s like this – we don’t believe that an employee should get evaluated based on their work performance. Rather, They get measured based on the extra side projects that they take on.”

Projects related to their field, or experience?

“Oh no!” smiled Macy.

“You have graphic designers, turning into event coordinators. Marketing Strategists setting up Photoshop classes, and worst of all copy editors organizing brainstorming sessions. All the while important work vital to the existence of our company goes ignored.

While Macy couldn’t think of a solution during our meeting, he did state that it wasn’t all doom and gloom.

“The economy is beginning to pick up and it looks like more companies are starting to hire. Maybe I can get a job in a different industry. I hear bomb diffusers are well paid.”

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